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The cliche has it that anyone who is not a liberal at age 20 has no heart, while anyone who is not a conservative at age 40 has no head.

If "liberal" is replaced with "radical" and "conservative" with "moderate" I can say, at the age of 39, that perhaps the saying is on to something.

I respect and dearly love my younger, more radical friends (for it is absolutely true that the two often go hand-in-hand) and yet I often find myself at odds with them.  So perhaps it would be worthwhile to take a few moments to explain some of the reasons why I tend towards supporting the smaller, more moderate, less sweeping changes, and to compromise, and to continuing to seek common ground and work with people who disagree with me:

1) The small change that actually happens can help more people faster than the big change that doesn't.

I first learned this lesson, and took my first real steps away from radical left politics to more moderate, compromise-oriented politics when I was 26, after one of my closest friends died unexpectedly.

Before that, I was full-tilt "GAY MARRIAGE NOW - anything else is separate-and-unequal selling out, how dare you?!"

Then, we lost Cilla, suddenly and without warning.  Cilla lived with her two daughters and with her life partner, Mary, in a northern exurb of Pittsburgh.  Mary had no legally recognized ties to Cilla at all, and thus no right to so much as make funeral arrangements until Cilla's long-estranged mother in California was found and gave consent.  This was the first time I had really witnessed the effects of lacking legal family ties, and it changed my mind immediately.  A civil union or domestic partnership would not have been as good as marriage - but it would have made Mary's nightmare a lot less nightmare-ish.

Did we need people continuing to agitate for full marriage equality, as well as for LGBTQ civil rights that had nothing to do with marriage?  HELL YES.

Does that mean that if the "compromise" measure had been available, it should not have been taken because not good enough? NO.  IT DOES NOT.

2) Refusing to support anyone who doesn't pass your ideological purity test, ever, under any circumstances, means there are real people in need who can't get help at all.

...also known as "fine, where are the Neopagan nursing homes?"

When I was in my 20s, it seemed like there was an ever-growing list of charitable causes that good progressives shouldn't support or go anywhere near.  It would start with a handful of obvious targets (Salvation Army, Boy Scouts, the usual suspects) and then extend out to "you shouldn't support any group that's worked with a group that's worked with the Bad Guys."

Really?

I can give a more specific example that is close to my heart.  Yes, there's plenty of stuff that Catholic Charities does that I disagree with (hoo boy, is there).  But when I was at SALT, I did a lot of work with Catholic Charities (and my clinical supervisor worked directly for them) because that was the agency that was actually fucking present in the local area helping people who had lost their homes to Hurricane Irene get government help.  SALT itself, in the beginning, was essentially a coalition between the disaster response part of the local Catholic Charities and several mainline-to-conservative Protestant churches with congregations in the area of the disaster, with a spike of Americorps NCCC youth thrown in.

Never mind that part of the conditions of being involved in the disaster relief included that nobody was to proselytize or try to recruit for their church or denomination, and that help was to be made equally available to all in need of any faith or none.  In the eyes of some more radical progressives, my presence there was tantamount to being pro-fundamentalist and anti-LGBT.

(And of course, conveniently, the fact that so much work was being done by "tainted" organizations excused the people who are the target of this rant from doing anything in the way of offering help themselves.  This still makes me angry when I think about it.)

3) The "Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!" scenario - when an activist solution is simple, neat, and wrong.

Fight-for-$15ers, I'm talking about you here:

Simply raising the minimum wage to $15, right away, would help a lot of young, single people.

It would be an economic disaster for many families, especially single-parent families.  I know this from a set of projections I needed to complete to submit to the governor's office as part of my job.  To make a long spreadsheet into a short paragraph:

A $15 minimum wage would cause many single-parent families that currently have subsidized child care to lose it, while not increasing take-home pay significantly enough to make families whole after that loss.  There are other government benefits (low-cost health insurance, housing and utility assistance programs, even food stamps/SNAP) that might similarly be cut without enough of an increase in take-home pay to balance the effect out.  Essentially, from the calculations we did where I work, we found that raising the minimum wage to $12 would cause this type of problem far less often, but once the wage went beyond $12/hour it would take a minimum wage of $21/hour to make up for the loss of subsidized child care and the other assistance that they would lose at the $15/hour point.

4) [for parents] Young children CANNOT give informed consent, or even assent, to radical activism, or to the effects their parents' participation in it will have on them.

Yes, I know to some people the answer to this is "don't have kids, then!"  Fine, whatever, you do you.  I have kids.  A lot of us have kids by the time we're 40.

I have activist friends who make it a goal to get arrested at protest actions.  I can't do that.  I do not believe it is ethical, through my own voluntary actions, to put my kids in a position where I might lose custody of them, or where I might lose my job and thus impair not only my standard of living (by which I mean "ability to pay my bills and do the things I do in every day life") but also theirs.  I do not believe it is ethical to put my kids in a position where my activism, or their (unconsenting becasue of inability to give informed consent) participation, damages their relationships with peers, with the parents of their peers, or with teachers and other significant adults in their lives.  And I have, more than once, had to make some difficult choices between what I would believe is right in an ideal world and what was actually physically safe for my children - and I had to choose their safety, because they were too young to consent to being put in harms' way, and to make the "idealistic" choice would have been to neglect my duties as a parent.  (Yes, I realize my considerable social privilege gave me the options I had when these situations came up.  That doesn't mean it would have been morally acceptable to me to fail to use them to get my children out of harm's way to the best extent I am able.)

I can, and do, continue to take actions that do not carry these risks.  But putting myself in physical or legal danger is no longer an option, for the sake of my kids.

5) A good deal of progressive activism is incredibly ableist, and older people are more likely to have a significant disability than younger people.

There was one person I entirely stopped speaking to over the presidential race, and he is considerably to the left of me politically.  One of the reasons I stopped speaking to him was his dismissal of people with disabilities as a "fringe special interest group."  Never mind that by the usual census definition (substantial limitation of a major life activity) something like one person in five has a disability, and that "the disabled" is the one disprivileged minority group that any person could suddenly end up in at any time.

If your activism consists of telling people that "anyone can do" any single specific activity as a way of shaming them into taking that specific action, your activism is ableist.  Because no, not everyone can.  I don't care what the activity is - there will be someone who is physically, mentally, and/or developmentally unable to do it.

6) All too often, older "radical" progressive activists can be predators, and they can AND DO put the safety of younger progressives at risk.

This is a hard warning to give, and I wish I didn't have to, but it's a thing I've seen over and over again.

Sometimes, it's the same old sexually predatory garbage that exists everywhere, but with more willingness than usual to ignore it because the perp is such a good person, is on our side and are you sure this isn't a misunderstanding, sweetie?  Sometimes this enabling of sexual predators to operate in radical-left circles takes the form of telling victims of sexual assault and domestic violence that they are [insert your term of choice for Bad, Unworthy People here] if they call the police to report the rape or to enforce the restraining order.

Sometimes, what's being asked for is labor, physical or emotional or both, unpaid or underpaid.  It's the nonprofit job that expects you to put in "volunteer" hours outside of your paid working hours, or that enforces out-of-work social gatherings via peer and supervisory pressure, or that contacts you at all hours when you're supposed to be off the clock to "just answer this one quick question", or that says you shouldn't care about the low pay because it's all for SUCH A GOOD CAUSE, or that hires unpaid interns to do all of the clerical work because that way their overhead numbers look better.

None of this is okay.  I thought that part of the progressive platform was supposed to be about fair wages, but apparently that goes out the window an awful lot when the job itself is "for a good cause."

Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
favoritebean
Jan. 16th, 2017 07:46 am (UTC)
I had to read some of your points over and over. With regards to aspects like the $15 (#3), it would be interesting to see the raw data and sources you mention.
cheshire23
Jan. 16th, 2017 02:54 pm (UTC)
If you're interested, you can check out the Family Resource Simulator, which lets you try different scenarios in different states, though admittedly some are not as updated as I would like to see.
penpusher
Jan. 16th, 2017 06:12 pm (UTC)
While I do understand that a reasoned and moderate approach is worth moving forward on, as a "better than nothing" concept, that, in itself, is part of the problem.

The issue: people who are different from the majority are thought of as, well, different. And the mindset that allows humans to see other humans as "different" also allows them to treat those people differently from themselves.

So, the first point we need to be aware of is the fact that as humans we are all human. No more, no less. And it's the people "in charge," the people who "have the power" that are perpetuating both the differences among these groups and the rules that force people to be put in positions that make their lives difficult, miserable or even nightmarish.

But that's all by design. If you are struggling with just paying your rent, there's no way you could dream up a wonderful idea that could help change the world. If you can't afford to travel, you might not meet other people who inspire you to greater things. If you have to fight for your rights while other people are free of that struggle, you are spending the time you could have used to care for your partner, to raise your children, to create, do, live! - simply by going to protest.

Placing the burden of catering to the group in power on those who are struggling only serves to slow down any progress that much more, if the group in power refuses to have empathy to put themselves in the place of those oppressed. And it's easy to ignore the thoughts, feelings, hopes, desires, wishes and dare I use it on this MLK Day... dreams of those who are just as hard working, just as deserving and just as human as the ones in control.

Unless and until we not just pay the lip service of saying "everyone is human" and truly understand exactly what that means and how that manifests within our society and on a grander scale in the global community, we will only make incremental progress when a major shift is not just desired, but required.
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:35 am (UTC)
That's...actually the problem I'm having, though, just in a different way? Wanting everyone to be seen as human? And the problem I'm having is that a lot of the time people who are focusing on a particularly radical demand are so focused on their demand that it turns into "well fuck everyone else then anyway." The "fight for $15" people that included the one person I unfriended over the election are what I'm talking about - they're so stuck on their specific solution to a specific issue that they have no willingness to understand that many families will be worse off because of losing access to subsidized insurance, child care, etc. It was the difference between "$15 minimum wage RIGHT NOW!" and "$15 eventually, $12 as fast as we can and making sure we have a plan in place to deal with child care, oh, and we also need to make sub-minimum wages illegal across the board, including in sheltered workshops." It's actually the less "radical" position that is more inclusive of problems that more people face.
belleweather
Jan. 16th, 2017 07:30 pm (UTC)
Yes. Yesyesyes. Also known as the "Do you have a plan as to how you're going to do that?" question, or the "Would you rather be morally right, or win elections?" question.

It's funny because as I approach 40 I am far, far more politically active in ways that actually count than I was as a young radical. Part of that is because I have money. More of that is because I have a more experienced, nuanced and informed understanding of how the political process works, and what levers and pressure points I can effect. But I also have significantly less patience for bullshit, and if I never attend another fucking march (or sign another online petition) in my life it will be too soon. If it's an issue I really care about, I need to find a way to act on it that will actually affect change. Otherwise, GTFO.
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:39 am (UTC)
I think that in some situations, marches can be a good and valid tool. (However, they should NEVER be the ONLY tool, because a lot of people can't effectively participate in them and thus it is not okay to say that if you REALLY cared you'd be marching.)

See also: the fastest way to get me to never share/reblog/etc. a thing is to do the "if you care about this, if you have a heart..." I have a blanket policy that I do not do that, NO EXCEPTIONS EVER, because as soon as I make one exception for one person or issue, there will be the demands that I care as much about Chronic Foo as I do about Clinical Bar, what is WRONG with me? *rolls eyes*
my_name_is_jenn
Jan. 16th, 2017 11:40 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty far left and definitely understand the hatred for "separate but equal" movement. It does feel like selling out and putting those "different people" in a corner where they can be ignored and forgotten.

However, you're right when you say this:
Does that mean that if the "compromise" measure had been available, it should not have been taken because not good enough? NO. IT DOES NOT.

Very nice take on the prompt. :)
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:40 am (UTC)
I really think Vermont did the thing the right way when they did the original civil unions bill. It went something like this:

Okay, your problem is literally the word marriage? Then what we're going to do is basically add "or party to a civil union" to every appearance of "husband" or "wife" or "spouse" in state law.

Eventually there was a realization of the farce that this was and civil unions were replaced with marriages. But "everything but the word if the word's the problem" was a good exercise in bluff-calling.
majesticarky
Jan. 17th, 2017 03:05 pm (UTC)
Very interesting to see how your perspective changes when you have children. That quote is from Winston Churchill and my dad likes to say it to me all the time XD.
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:42 am (UTC)
Having kids is certainly part of it. But also encountering situations like Cilla's death, where an incomplete solution would have been so much better than the status quo, made me really think about other times that might apply.
bewize
Jan. 17th, 2017 03:55 pm (UTC)
Interesting take on the prompt. I suppose I have two years to go and see if it works that way for me, but I've always kind of adopted the "Better to not be heartless" approach. I've seen too many marginalized groups stay marginalized, because "mainstream" finds it easier to sacrifice them on the alter of "getting what they want."

I do not, however, think that applies to the example you made in Point 1. I absolutely agree with you that the compromise should have been made, while the fight continued. I think that you have to be careful to differentiate between "all or nothing" and "one step closer," though.

Good writing. I enjoyed it. :)
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:36 am (UTC)
And I'd argue that the "mainstream" doesn't have a corner on that market. As a person with a mobility impairment who has also used psychiatric medication in the past, I've never felt more like The Surplus Population than when dealing with radical environmental activists.
rayaso
Jan. 17th, 2017 08:03 pm (UTC)
A very interesting, very different take on the prompt. You make many excellent points.
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:45 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
dmousey
Jan. 17th, 2017 10:24 pm (UTC)
This was an interesting take! Thanks for sharing. Hug and peace~~~
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:45 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading.
adoptedwriter
Jan. 18th, 2017 01:48 am (UTC)
A lot to think about here. Good points.
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:46 am (UTC)
I've had to think about it a lot, so at least I can try to let other people know some of the weird nuts and bolts stuff.
halfshellvenus
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:04 am (UTC)
A worthy and well-written rant!

The information on the $15 minimum wage was interesting-- kind of a right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing situation.
cheshire23
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:45 am (UTC)
Most of the people I know who were super-into the Fight For $15 campaigns were single college graduates without children worrying about student loans and rent, but explicitly NOT childcare, or were so far away from minimum-wage jobs that they were seeing this very abstractly.

We get a lot of those situations with social services - I remember an incident where a man who received personal care attendant services was possibly facing a cut in his hours because "your daughter's sixteen, now, can't SHE help you with bathing?" and my friend (the social worker at our agency who was dealing with this call) saying something sarcastic afterwards about "I'm sure the Child Protective folks across the hall just LOVE that idea, maybe run it by them first?!"
az_starshine
Jan. 18th, 2017 08:32 pm (UTC)
This is terrific, like everything else you write, and so true. Thank you for this.
morettaallstar
Jan. 18th, 2017 10:29 pm (UTC)
I'm going to take this away and let this percolate.
alycewilson
Jan. 19th, 2017 12:56 am (UTC)
All excellent points, and so very, very true! I have to chime in on point one. When Mom died, she had never updated her will from the 1970s. Her partner (never legally married) was not in it. Perhaps in an attempt to provide for her, she had several investments for which the beneficiary was her. However, because she wasn't a family member, we actually had to pay triple the inheritance tax to the state for the money she received. If only Mom had spoken to a lawyer and updated her will, she could have provided for everyone in the way that she'd wanted.

Getting the legal stuff right is very, very important for everyone involved.
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )

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